i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
