Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
