New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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