...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
