He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
