If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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