My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i out mim tonsoeep
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