So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
