Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
