At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
