We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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