If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
