I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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