you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize