hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my poor anus
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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