Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
