I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
