Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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