For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
