Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
