just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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