he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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