just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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