The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You were trust falling into bushes
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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