It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
