I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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