thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
