Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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