so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
