mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
