Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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