just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
