Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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