I must be too annoying 4 u.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
