I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dear god my vagina.
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