Im at strip club and am horny
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize