I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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