Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
