Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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