I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
