You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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