Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
