It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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