We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
