I hate your face
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
