Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
