just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
