I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
