I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
