Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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