can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
