Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
