dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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