That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
operation harelip BJ is a go
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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