I'm really into asian looking animals
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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