Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
