i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize