non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize