They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
